Too Far
by In the Land of Liars
Summary: Elizaveta and Gilbert get into a fight that goes way too far. Roderich now has to cope with this losing his love. From the funeral to seeing her everywhere. Carmen Fem!Spain helps Roderich through this and Aiden HRE Helps Elizaveta adjust to being dead and watching life go on without her. This really isnt a good summary. Read?
1. Chapter 1

Not sure what to say so… This is my first fanfic. There might be a few more chapters to follow. Im so sorry it is so short. I do not own Hetalia.

Yeah, that should do it

"Fuck you gilbert! Fuck you!" The Hungarian screeched form across the room.

"Oh you vish Eliza!" Gilbert said back angrily to her. She stormed over to him furiously and pushed him to the wall. "I can't have one day to myself where you don't screw with everything, can I?" He looked at her with icy red eyes "Well it seems you can't make some goddamn decisions by yourself now." He pushed her back "Vhere is smart Lizzy, huh? Vhere is a grown ass adult? I can zee one on the outside but not the inside, just a puny vittle girl who takes orders from _him._" Elizaveta look at him coolly. "Do not touch me." She seethed through her teeth

"Oh really now, because a few summers ago that's all you wanted, for me to touch you." She looked at him with pure rage, then looked up at the wall. Two swords and a crest was mounted there. "One of us will not make it to tomorrow" she said, glaring at him. "So be it" he seethed.

Elizaveta grabbed one of the swords and looked at him. "Get the sword Gilbert." He went over and took the other sword off the wall. With that they began. Clinking of the metal filled the room. Until… The sword went through her like she was air. Roderich, how had just gotten to that room to see what the ruckus was about. As the aristocrat sprinted to her side as Elizaveta fell to her knees then to the ground. She breathed in and out shakily, trying to hard to get air to her lungs. She looked over to the worried filled, violet eyed man who was holding her now. He could see the excruciating pain in her emerald eyes, her lip quivered as she tried to talk. "Too far... Went too far..." He held her tight in his arms. "Please... Please don't leave me PLEASE!" He begged her, screaming even. She could barely talk through the pain. It burned through her in a white flash. "Roddy... I love.. yo-" She fell off of the last word as her eyes went to the back of head. He shook in tears. He knew her and Gilbert weren't on good terms but this time everything went too far and they all knew it too.. Gilbert had run off in shock with himself. Nothing made sense, it all went so fast. "Vhat have I done..."


	2. Too Live

So I thought I would study a bit for my boaters' license… but then I got bored and decided to do this instead. Thanks to harrypotterluver22.

Carmen= Fem! Spain (Yes, a female, don't like, don't read)

Aiden= HRE

Even though one of my OTPs is Spamano (I have about 50 OTPs… per fandom) It won't be in here (Sue me)

_Italics are flashbacks_

I do not own Hetalia. On with the story.

Roderich stared up at the blank white ceiling from his bed. Trying to find patterns in the ceiling but he couldn't see anything other than a blank canvas.

_Elizaveta smiled from the bed looking at the ceiling. "If you look at the two marks right there…" She said pointing up "And the crack over there, you can see a face…. And over there-" _

"_Eliz, it looks like a ceiling that needs to be fixed if it has a crack"_

"_Yes, but if you're able to get around that-"_

"_And maybe repaint the ceiling because of the dots…"_

"_Try to find something out side of the box about it"_

"_It looks like that crack is a scar on the ceiling"_

"…_You're outside of the box, but clinging onto the side as much as possible."_

He gave a deep, sad, sigh. He wished he would've been able to encourage her with her wild imagination. Instead he was plain and boring, seeing nothing, not because he couldn't, but because he didn't want to even try.

How long had he been lying in his bed anyway? An hour or 2? Maybe half the day.. It wasn't like he had anything to do. Except… The funeral… He had never been one to procrastinate but now he wondered how long he could press the snooze button before facing the day. How long could he put off his job, they had granted him a few days off of work to cope, but how long until they wanted him back? How long could he drink to forget her before someone cut him off? And how long could he keep from saying his final goodbye to Elizaveta?

Then his phone began to ring. Once… Twice…

"Hello?" He said in a hoarse voice, picking up on the last ring.

"Hola, mi amigo… I haven't heard from you in a while"

Oh… Carmen… Actually no one had heard from him in a while. Roderich had pretty much closed himself off since… well… yeah…

"…I guess you haven't…" He spoke back softly

"I'm worried about you. I don't think Gil meant to go that far, but I thought maybe you would like to go for drinks tonight. Just as friends."

His throat tightened at the mention of Gilberts name. "I don't know-"

"She might be gone but life goes on… And I don't think she would want you to live like this, and you know it."

"Fine, I'll go."

"Alright… Is Lovino going to be-"

"No."

Roderich thought this a little weird. Those two were near inseparable. After a Long silence Carmen decided to explain a little.

"After March 17th* things got a little tense and slowly we grew farther and farther apart…" She said quietly.

"Ah… I'll meet you at 7 then…"

Carmen proceeded to rattle off the address for the bar. Then they said their goodbyes until 7 and hung up.

Crap, this meant he actually had to look presentable… Such a chore… He turned to look at the clock to see it was 5pm. So he had actually been in bed for the whole day, oh well. He slowly dragged himself into the bathroom. First he looked at all the stubble on his face. How long had it been since he had shaved? He couldn't remember, not that it mattered. Slowly but surely he got ready, brushing his teeth, his hair, and the shaving. He almost took as long as Elizaveta.

"_You've been in there for a hour Liz! I am more than sure you look okay."_

"_5 more minutes alright!"_

"_You said that 20 minutes ago."_

No, he had to stop thinking about her. She was gone. Gone, damn it! Why did she even think a sword fight was a good idea? Did she even think about him when she pulled the sword? …But… Wasn't it his fault for putting them there? For not being there when Glibert was over? He began to tremble just thinking of it.

'Just get on clothes.' He commanded himself. 'Get on clothes and go' Without another thought he put on a shirt. Elizaveta hadn't bought this one for him. She actually hated that shirt, maybe that's why he was wearing it, because he could now without hearing a compliant. He sped down stairs, almost going to the car outside, before… "Pants! Pants are mandatory!" He rushed back upstairs and put on a pair of pants. Okay, he was good. Well… Not good, presentable… He honestly didn't think he would ever be 'good' again. With that he went back to the car and started the engine.

~Elizaveta~

I looked down on him from a small hole.

"He's finally doing something…" Aiden spoke gently.

"Yeah." I said with a sad smile.

I wish I could be with him but that wasn't possible. I was dead. In a sort of heaven, I guess. I could watch everyone's lives play out. I just couldn't be in contact with him. Carmen was right though. I hated it, but I knew that just because my life had ended didn't mean that his would end as well. He needed to have fun, to live. Without me.

Wow I actually wrote more than I thought I would. Any who…

*March 17th Southern Italy separated from Spain.

I hope you liked it.


	3. Remember, Cherish, Mourn, and Heal

Last time the separates didn't work so hopefully they will this time. Warnings for mentioning of self harm and losing the will to live. I tried to used them as gently as possible, but still it is what it is and for some this subject can be harder more than it is for others. We get to see a bit of the past Spamano relationship, and no, I am not trying to bash that pairing. I am actually quite fond of it. I have been writing this from 2:00 am - 5:50 am. Any incorrect grammar I would like to blame on that, but I tried to catch most of it.

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A man stood outside of a run down pub. Obviously waiting for someone else. The paint of the building was peeling off and looked as though it had been painted over numerous times. Once a yellow, that might've looked fun and festive, but now was a nasty color. Then some sort of orange-ish pink. On top of that a... Blue? Then the top coat of paint was a dark green.

The man checked his watch once again, 7:03. She should be here in a few sec-

"Hola Roderich!" came a happy voice. Scratch that. She would be here now.

"Hallo Carmen, you look... Bright." Carmens smile seemed to take over the room with a sense of security and happiness.

"You look nice to... Shall we go in?" Her eyes lightened at her own suggestion. He nodded going following her into the establishment as she lead the way. The hostess lead them to a booth in the corner of the bar section and after a few minutes of looking at the drink list a waiter came to take their order.

"Er. I'll have a... A bloody Mary, por favor. " Carmen smiled to the wait staff.

"I'll just have a beer." He sighed, remembering how Elizaveta would always prefer a beer over wine, remembering the first time she got drunk and he had to take her home and when she prefered beer over champagne on their honeymoon. Carmen gave him with a sympathetic smile.

"You're thinking about her... Aren't you?"

"Yeah..." He murmured. "I'm sorry, I know. I need to give up. Get over her." He said quickly afterwards.

"No... No, you don't." Carmen looked at him thoughtfully

"You don't get over someone. You cherish the time you knew them, the time you loved them. You mourn the time you lost them. Then slowly, day by day, week after week, and with every month, you slowly... Heal... And then your friends will support you as you learn to love again."

He shook his head, looking down at the table. "How do I know I can give up my heart and be able to trust it wont get broken?"

"You don't... But that, the risk, the amount of love it takes to give away your heart is what makes it all worth while. That's what makes it love."

"Carmen, if you don't mind me asking... Why did you and Lovino stop seeing each other? I know you too were together for a while."

She shifted, becoming a bit stiff. "Well... You see.."

"Don't feel like you have to answer me-"

"No, I want to. Maybe then, if you're in this situation, you'll be able to understand what's going on... And maybe... You can get out of it in a..." She paused trying to find the correct choice of words for it. "Clean fashion."

Roderich nodded at her. The waiter from before came back, giving them their drinks. Though, for the first time since Elizavetas death he did not start drinking immediately, intrigued by what Carmen was saying instead. "It started off... Well. I would tell him how much I loved him. That he was my everything, because at that time he was my everything. Then after a few weeks it got a little harder. I would make a small mistake and he would go off on that small detail. He would call me and idiota, turtle bitch sometimes, and stupid. Now I want you to know that he never raised a hand to me, that he never physically hurt me. The next day he would apologize, say he loved me and I was far from any of the things he said. But it continued to happen..." She paused, composing herself.

"You can stop if-"

"No. Let me talk. It happened every month or so. Then it became every few weeks until it was every week... And then daily." She gave him a smile, and even though it was a smile it seemed to fill the room with her sadness. "Sometimes the happiest are the ones who hurt, because we know how to hide it. We don't want anyone else to feel our pain. And the saying 'Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.' isn't true. They do hurt, and sometimes it hurts to the point you start to hurt yourself." She wiped a small tear that had begun to roll down her face. "He got mad at that too." Her voice slowly lowered to a whisper. "And then I lost the reason to live. Bella noticed first, she sent me to help. I hated her for a while. Soon though, Lovino and I broke up. I began to like her more and more. She saved my life. Even though this happened, I don't loathe Lovino. I remember the best of him, because I know he's a good person deep inside."

Roderich sat back, stunned. He hadn't known anything of this. He slowly realized he wasn't the only one hurting, that his pain was shared by so many other people in this world. "Carmen... Would you help me with the funeral? I don't think I can't do it by myself." His breath caught at the end of the sentence. "Yes." Carmen said with a small nod. "Yes, I would be happy to do that with you."

~Elizaveta~

She sighed watching the scene of those two together at the pub.

"You know," Aiden started. "That just because he's beginning to have an actual social life doesn't meant he will forget you"

She said nothing and nodded silently. Aiden shook his head a little. "There will always be a spot for you in his heart."

"Do you think I was stupid?" Elizaveta said in a small voice.

"What do you mean?"

"The swords. My death. Was I a total idiot?"

"There is no point in thinking about that. You're dead now and nothing can change that."

She nodded, disappointed by the answer.

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My thanks to katt for reviewing. I do love the reviews and it would be nice if you left one. Either way, I hope you enjoyed it annnnnnd yeah. That should do it. Until next time


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